I have nothing really to say....I've gained I think since my last stop by here in January. Not as much as I thought I did but my weigh in in January was 183.2 and this morning was 184.5. I guess we can say I've maintained my out of shapeness for 5 and 1/2 months. I have a beach weekend scheduled for July 12-15 and I'd really like to be down 10lbs by then so I can at least fit in my summer clothes.
I've been wearing a fitbit for a couple months and tracking on myfitnesspal more often than not but I think my metabolism is at a crawl now. I've got to do something and stop making excuses.
I went to weigh in thi morning and my scale that I thought had needed just a battery replacement was erroring out. I didn't get to weigh in this morning but did make it to my moms this afternoon to use her scale, which is actually where I weighed in last week anyhow and the result was 183.2 - total loss of 3.8 from last Tuesday!!! Yahoo :)
I started my new job yesterday and my eating has been on point. I started my day at 6am with a portioned bowl of the new Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch with a sliced banana and 1% milk. On the way to work I got a large Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream (yes, I said cream - I refuse to cut out everything) and Splenda. At about 10am I had a 90 calorie Yoplait yogurt, at noon - an apple and at 1:30ish - a nature valley granola bar package (both bars). At my PTO meeting tonight I had a slice of the chocolate chip friendship bread I brought and then just a little while ago I made myself nachos for dinner with the leftover salsa chicken I had made in the crock pot on Friday. Now it's water for the rest of the night.
I finally feel like I've got some control again. Not being in an office surrounded by other people who are bringing food in and getting take out for lunch will be great for me since as I've said before I have little to no self control.
I feel very dejected by my weekend as a whole or as I've been calling it my weak-end. I didn't try hard, I failed myself with my eating and exercising and the scale shows it. I've decided to make my weekly weigh-in on Tuesdays for now. Give myself a day to relieve some of the damage done.
I start my new job tomorrow and I felt very defeated as I tried on clothes to try to pick something to wear. Most of my stuff is too tight. Not a good feeling at all. I'm not buying new clothes so I guess I'm going to have to make this work.
I'm so happy to be using my bugg again. I like seeing my actual calorie burn. I feel like it helps
to motivate me. I took a picture of where I was at as of 8:30pm tonight for anyone who hasn't seen what the program looks like. My target calorie burn for the day is set at 2450 and my intake is set to 1700. I went over my intake and didn't reach my goal at this point but I still have time and I think I should probably hit the mark tomorrow.One positive I did have today was actually going over my water consumption goal. I'm using the waterlogged app to track water and I have my goal set to 110oz a day. I've already hit 120oz and I'll probably have one more glass before bed.
The weekend ahead should be a busy one. Friday nights are dance class for my daughter and then Saturday will be her Girl Scout Cookie Rally at the local mall and then our final family Christmas celebration at my parents afterward. We had to postpone part of the holiday since my brother and sister in law and their children were visiting her family in Germany for December.
I'm hoping to take advantage of the time my daughters at the cookie rally by looking for a new pair of work shoes for my new job on Monday. I wish I had the money for a shoe shopping spree seeing as their the only part of me that doesn't change in size :)
I had thought about joining weight watchers but the cost is just too much for me to swallow right now. As a lower priced alternative I decided to renew my bodybugg subscription. I've had a bodybugg for quite sometime. Two and a half years maybe? I don't know. I haven't used it in at least a year and a half possibly longer. I'm hoping to use it for awhile and at least get some kind of baseline as to where my metabolism and bmr are at. I'm also hoping it will encourage me to get some more movement in. My subscription should be active tomorrow at some point and I'll be wearing my armband for the first time tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing where I'm at.
Just like about every other blog I've seen today I also am hoping this year is a fresh start for me. I'm sitting here at 23 lbs heavier than my lowest weight in memory and at closer to all my weight gained back. Woo hoo. The older I get the harder it seems to motivate to do something about this weight even though I know its a necessity. I'm angry about it. I'm angry that I threw all my hard work out the window. I'm angry that my clothes don't fit. I'm angry that this is such hard work. I know the hard work is worth it but finding the motivation to putting the work in is so hard. I need to do it, I want to do it....but I just can't find the motivation to do it. I'm starting a new job on Monday I know that it's pretty much impossible at this point but I'd love to start the job weighing under 180. I'm hoping that with some serious sodium flushing with all the water I should have been drinking all along and some healthy meal choices I can at least get close.
Also I think many of the blogs I've always followed are kind of like me in that they've run away from blogging for various reasons and I'm looking for some new blogs to follow. If anyone has any suggestions please leave me a comment. I need some inspiration and motivation.
Here I am, my 100th post....I was somewhat of a success story, at least for a little while. I started this blog at around 185 lbs, on June 6 of 2010 I was 183.2 lbs, I managed in 6 months or so to lose almost 20 lbs weighing in at the lowest weight I had seen since high school on Halloween of 2010 164.4 and here I am almost two years later and weighing in today at 183.2 lbs. What an ridiculously futile cycle this seems like. I don't want to ride this weight loss roller coaster again. I want to go down and stay down. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I also no their is no magic pill. There's just me and my willpower and my drive to do this. I know its in me somewhere, I'm just having trouble finding it.